I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
