Screwed.edu
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
