Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize