She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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