your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Kiss
Puke
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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