oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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