Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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