i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
