So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
