i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
