i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm too high and old for this...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
