His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
zippers are such a cool invention
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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