yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
