i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
