things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
