That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
