So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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