Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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