he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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