I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
