i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
