i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
