evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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