I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
