Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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