If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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