She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
