she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
