This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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