i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
