fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
