To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
