There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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