Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
farters have to be the big spoon...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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