but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
