so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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