if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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