Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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