Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
