yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
