Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
