she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
