I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
