tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
