try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
