Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
