So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
