i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
