Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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