Tell her she can't have a vagina
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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