I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
